You can tell, when I post recipes, that I’m not a food blogger. I’m just someone on a restricted diet who loves good food and likes to cook and to share recipes with my friends. But the recipe I tried today, I’m not going to share with you. Because it was a Saturday morning muffin disaster!

Okay, well maybe disaster is overstating the case. I wasn’t planning to serve them to company. (I never plan to serve experimental recipes to company.) But, usually, if a recipe doesn’t turn out, I can think of ways to salvage the food that didn’t turn out, or to fix the recipe for next time. With this recipe, there won’t be a next time.

Here’s what happened. I woke up this morning, thinking that sausage biscuits sounded really, really good. It doesn’t take long to whip up a batch of almond flour biscuits. When my husband got up (I’m always up before he is on the weekends), we’d be able to share a yummy breakfast.

But my husband thinks my regular recipe is too heavy. And I have some coconut milk sour cream in the fridge. Sour cream should make for lighter biscuits, right?

The coconut sour cream is a story in itself: a while back, we used part of a can of coconut milk in a curry. We poured what was left in a glass jar, stuck it in the fridge, and forgot about it. When we discovered it again, it had turned into the most delicious sour cream either one of us had ever had. Better than the cashew sour cream I usually make.

I’ve tried making coconut sour cream several times since. It hasn’t worked out. I don’t care much for the flavor of the current experiment. It’s not awful. I wouldn’t use it as a topping for tacos. But I thought it might work in a recipe.

Back to the muffin disaster

So, back to the Saturday morning muffin disaster. I googled for recipes for almond flour sour cream biscuits. I found a likely contender, and I started pulling out ingredients. That’s when I discovered that there is no almond flour in the cupboard.

Rats.

But I found coconut flour. So, back to the computer, to search for coconut flour biscuit recipes. I didn’t find one that I liked, but I did find a recipe for lemon blackberry sour cream bread. It used coconut flour. It sounded wonderful. And the recipe suggested you could also make it in muffin tins. Perfect.

I have limes and raspberries instead of lemons and blackberries, but I thought it would work. I make bigger modifications than that in recipes all the time.

My shoulder was starting to ache. I have known issues with my left shoulder, but today, my right shoulder is complaining at me. But that’s okay. I figured I’d be able to make the biscuits and fry up some sausage, then I could ice my shoulder.

So I poured some tea, took some Tylenol, and started cooking.

This might have been a clue

Eight eggs. That’s a lot of eggs. It might have been a clue that the recipe wasn’t going to turn out right. But I know coconut flour doesn’t behave like regular flour, so eight eggs went into the bowl. I got out a wire whisk, instead of using the KitchenAid, because I didn’t want to wake everyone up. My shoulder complained. But I kept going.

I measured and whisked and stirred and poured, and filled a muffin tin. There was batter left over, so I put it in a mini loaf pan.

It wouldn’t make sausage biscuits. But it looked wonderful.

By the time my husband got up, it smelled wonderful, too. But the muffins came out flat, like little hockey pucks. And they looked weird. The small loaf rose like you’d expect it to. The top looks lovely. The bottom looks like scrambled eggs.

And the muffins taste like scrambled eggs. Sweet scrambled eggs with raspberries.

They’re dreadful. And my shoulder is telling me that, even if they were good, cooking this morning was a mistake.

As a little boy named Alexander once said, some days are like that. Even in Australia.

Read More

The Boy, A Kitchen, and His Cave: A Review: This picture book tells the story of St. Euphrosynos, the patron saint of cooks and kitchens. I should have asked him for help with the muffins!

Pascual and the Kitchen Angels: A Review: This picture book tells the story of St. Pascual, a Spanish saint who couldn’t cook — so the angels did his cooking for him!

Cashew Cream: My recipe for a reliable non-dairy sour cream substitute. It’s really good.

Charlotte Riggle, author of Catherine's Pascha and The Saint Nicholas Day Snow
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